Who We Are

Our counselors bring dedication, competence, and compassion to their work with clients. They are passionate about helping others alleviate unnecessary suffering, improve relationships, and enhance positive self-concept. Even though counselors are equipped with significant training and experience, they don’t see themselves in experts. You are always the expert on your own life. The counselors are your fellow travelers who support you on the journey through life and assist you with the proven tools and alternate perspectives. Their ultimate goal is to help you achieve clarity, confidence, and felt-sense of peace and well-being, regardless of what is going on in the world.

Beverly Raff, LMFT – Couples Counselor, Supervisor

Beverly Raff, LMFT 102968, Couples Counselor in California – Specializing in Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT)

Bev is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) with Couples. She is currently working with California clients via Telehealth or outside in a private garden in San Ynez, California.

Bev earned a Master of Arts degree in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University in Santa Barbara and a Bachelor of Arts degree in Political Sociology from University of California in Los Angeles (summa cum laude). Bev is originally from South Africa and is currently living in San Ynez, California.

“I became a counselor and opened a private practice with the goal of providing compassionate science-based counseling services to individuals, couples, and families in a natural environment. I provide my clients the choice of having their counseling session in a beautiful garden or inside (currently also offering Telehealth).

I have been married for over 20 years and I know, both personally and professionally, that challenges that emerge in a marriage or in another intimate relationship can be very painful and overwhelming.

I also know that the potential for change, growth, and connection is possible when the couple or the family is working through these challenges with support of a skilled counselor.

During your sessions, either individually or as a couple, I will help the relationship transform from defensiveness, criticism, and isolation to openness, intimacy, and connection. I will provide a safe place to explore and express your emotions and concerns. You will learn and master the skills and practices proven to restore and strengthen relationships.

I have completed advanced training as a Couples Counselor and specialize in:

• Infidelity
• Sexual desire discrepancy
• Deescalating high conflict couples
• Adult children /Adult parent relationship issues
• Premarital counseling
• Deescalating bickering/spiteful interactions
• Helping couples who want to break up successfully
• Blended families

Being a couples counselor requires a very different skill set compared to doing counseling with individuals. Many counselors who primarily work with individuals just tweak their approach when working with couples. Unfortunately, these slightly modified approaches have poor success and high relapse rates. Fortunately, a new generation of specialized treatments has emerged with high success rates.

I have been extensively trained in the most successful approach, called Emotionally-Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). This approach was created by Dr. Susan Johnson and is based on the significant body of scientific work on attachment theory. This model demonstrates high success rates (75%-90%) and low relapse rates in rigorous clinical trials.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is an evidence-based treatment protocol for distressed couples wanting to learn to create strong bonds of connection with each other and helping couples and individuals gain relational skills.

If you understand how a relationship works, then, with awareness, you can shape the relationship towards a healthy connection and decrease the distress.

Emotionally Focused Therapy maps how distress arises and then navigates towards connection by promoting a supportive environment so healing can become possible over time. EFT is excellent at helping couples understand the deeper needs and longings that often underlie hostile and/or disconnecting cycles.”

Get in Touch with a Counselor:

Are you ready to reach out and get professional support from a counselor specializing in working with couples, children, and families? Get in touch with us and a family or couples counselor will contact you. You are welcome to ask questions about couples counseling and family therapy in California or to schedule a complementary 15-minute phone consultation.

We are physically located in Santa Barbara County (Santa Barbara and San Ynez), and are available virtually to help people residing anywhere in California.

We look forward to hearing from you.

• Write us an Email
• Call or text us at 805-245-3340